How To Break It To The Kids That You’re Moving
In today’s world of frequent transition, summer is a very convenient and popular time for families to relocate. Certainly moving is a challenge for everyone but it can be really difficult on children. Should a sudden job transfer find you moving this summer, here are some ways to help your kids cope with this emotional transition.
When Their Friends Move.
If you just found out that your kids’ best buddies are moving, don’t underestimate the impact of it.While dealing with their own sadness at the loss, they will quickly get to the fear of what could happen to them in the future. Be understanding of their grief and other emotions while talking through the reasons why people sometimes have to move. And be prepared to answer their next question, which will likely be, “Are we going to move?”
When It’s Your Move.
Tell them as soon as you can with a family meeting at home. You don’t want such important news coming accidentally through someone else. They need to know that the decision is breaking news and that they are hearing it immediately from you. Telling them at home will give everyone privacy to express their feelings openly.
Let them express their emotions.
There’s no ‘wrong’ emotion here. Every child is different so expect the full range of emotions to surface, from tears to door slamming and let them express it all. You can even share your own emotions, positive and negative, about the decision but do be clear that the decision is final. Listen to them as they process the news while answering every question that you can. Be upfront about anything that you can’t answer yet but give them a sense of when some of the ‘unknowns’ will be clearer.
Help them understand the positives.
After the initial shock of the news, help them process all sides of this huge transition starting with the positive. Perhaps the new area will have very different weather or access to mountains or a metropolitan locale. Talk through specifically how the family will benefit from the move and then take it to an individual level, with each child in mind.
Make them part of the new community.
If possible, let your kids see the new community before you actually move there, pointing out landmarks with them in mind: new schools, baseball park, community pool, and local pizza place. It will help younger ones feel more comfortable in their new surroundings. Become a part of the community by enrolling your crew in activities that they are already involved with like sports or drama or other school clubs. This roadmap will give the tweens and teens a solid plan as to how and where they can start fitting in.
Talk through how we’ll stay connected to the old community.
Fortunately, it’s easier than ever to stay connected these days through Skype, social media, phone video chats, connected gaming and more. Let your kids take the lead at suggesting ways to keep in touch with their friends.
Make the move a family event.
If it’s possible, let your kids see their new home before moving day to build excitement for the transition. Allow them to make whatever decisions they can about their new space or bedroom, maybe new paint color or new bedding.
Moving is tough for the entire family, so remind everyone to be patient with each other and include down time in the schedule. There will be bumps in the road, but it will likely bring your family closer together in the end.
